Autism: The Journey of a Thousand Miles

My son was just 3 years old when we learned he was autistic, but my wife and I had suspected something wasn’t quite right long before that. 

He was an adorable baby with sparkling blue eyes and a smile that could light up any room, but as he grew, he fell behind in walking, talking, fine motor skills, and, more crucially, emotional development. His inability to adapt, obsessive behavior, and quick temper were alarming. What began as occasional outbursts escalated into explosive meltdowns, leaving my wife and I feeling emotionally exhausted and utterly powerless.

At first, family members tried to comfort us, reassuring us it was merely “the terrible twos.” They insisted he would grow out of it, that these were just phases every child goes through. But as each month passed, it became increasingly clear that our challenges weren’t fading. They were becoming part of our daily lives. This was complicated further by our status as first-time parents. With no previous parenting experience to guide us, we found ourselves questioning if all children were this demanding, all while grappling with a gnawing intuition that something deeper was at play.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

For parents who suspect their child may be on the spectrum, my first piece of advice is simple yet profound — trust your instincts. 

You know your child better than anyone, even your doctor. Don’t let denial, fear, or the crushing weight of societal expectations blind you. Explaining away troubling behaviors won’t help you or your child feel any better. Trust me, I’ve been there. 

My wife made it her personal mission to find answers, and eventually, her determination led us to the Children’s Hospital in Colorado. After a rigorous series of tests — ranging from genetic screenings to psychological evaluations — we finally received the diagnosis shortly before his third birthday.

Knowing the reason behind my son’s struggles opened up a world of resources that we desperately needed. We discovered Early Intervention programs available in every state that provide critical services for children with developmental delays. We were able to access support like speech therapy, occupational therapy, and counseling services. 

For children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), we learned about Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA), a therapy dedicated to fostering communication and social skills in neurodivergent children. This newfound knowledge allowed us to begin equipping our boy with the tools he would need to navigate his world.

THE SILVER LINING

In the aftermath of the diagnosis, a deluge of emotions overcame me. I felt grief for the future I had envisioned for my son — a life that now seemed uncertain and full of obstacles. Anxiety gnawed at me. Was I up to the task? Would he ever experience friendships, love, or the simple joys of childhood? Anger surged at the thought of how society might perceive him. Would he be judged or, even worse, pitied? This wasn’t pride talking, however. It was an instinct to protect him. I didn’t need him to be the star quarterback or the valedictorian. I simply wished for him to have a chance at a normal childhood.

Yet, beneath this chaotic sea of emotions, one feeling emerged that kept me afloat — relief. Finally, we had clarity. The fear of the unknown felt more paralyzing than the diagnosis itself. When you lack answers, a sense of helplessness fills the void, but once you know the challenges ahead, you can begin to forge a path. Yes, the road may be rough, but we now had a sense of direction. Our lives weren’t over, but they were definitely evolving. 

In many ways, our son’s journey was just beginning. There’s an ancient saying that “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” 

The diagnosis was our first step.

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS

Statistics from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) indicate that one in every 36 children in America has been identified with ASD. If you don’t know someone affected now, it’s only a matter of time before you do. As alarming as these numbers may be, there lies a hidden strength — you are not alone in this journey. 

For parents navigating these
waters, don’t hesitate to share your story or speak out. You
are your child’s voice, and your experiences add invaluable insight to
the conversation.

Moreover, even those without children on the spectrum are essential to this dialogue. When my friends learned about my son’s diagnosis, many went silent — not out of indifference, but because they simply didn’t know what to say. 

Parenthood is challenging for everyone, regardless of neurodiversity. Don’t shy away from sharing your experiences. Sometimes, all we need is a friend willing to listen. I don’t need someone to assure me that everything will be alright. All I ask is that you walk with me.